I Hope I'm Wrong About This

We're taking our kids to the open house for the Draper, Utah LDS temple. I'm really apprehensive about this. Our children have a difficult time staying close to their parents during the twenty-yard walk from the entrance to the chapel when we go to church. They have a tendency to run down the wrong hallway when they notice that Mom and Dad are sufficiently occupied with some task that will prevent them from stopping their wayward wandering. Or they sprint down the hall and into the chapel, far enough ahead of their parents that they have time to walk up and down the aisles several times before they're apprehended. Inevitably this happens more often than not after the sacrament service has already started.

So I don't have particularly high hopes of them behaving properly while we tour the open-house. My imagination keeps giving me visions of them trying to run ahead of the line, climbing on the furniture, and generally causing mayhem. This will lead to me holding one or both of the two oldest by the arm tightly enough to keep them from running around, which will of course cause one or both of them to start proclaiming for all the world that I should "Let go!" because "You're hurting me!"

Of course we'll explain to them before we get there that we expect them to be on their best behavior. But my children don't seem to be able to understand what best behavior means. Whenever I try to to explain the idea to them they smile and nod and say "Yes Dad" and immediately begin looking for a piece of furniture to use as part of a gymnastics routine.

Did I say I'm feeling apprehensive about today's outing?

Here's a recent email exchange I had:


Timothy Young to scragun* Jan 14 (7 days ago)

Susie*,

I graduated from WSU's MAcc program in '07. I've been working as an auditor in public accounting since then. I got laid-off in October due to a reduction in force at the firm where I was working. Now I'm looking for a new job. I've had a lot of interviews, but no offers.

While I was in school I was on your mailing list and it seemed like I got job announcements all the time. Could you please put me back on your mailing list so I can find out about jobs that I'm qualified for?

Thanks,
Tim Young




Susie Cragun to me Jan 15 (7 days ago)

Tim:

I will be happy to do so. I haven't had any openings, either, for quite awhile but I anticipate that after the inauguration next Tuesday, things will settle into place and employers will begin to hire, once again.

Think positive!

Susie


Here's the reply I would have sent, if not for my keen sense of tact:

Susie,

I already have my palm leaves ready because I, too, anticipate that all the wrongs of the world will be righted once we coronate our blessed messiah.

Peace be with you,
Tim







Ironic then, don't you think, that I recieved a job offer today.

*Name has been changed to protect the privacy of Obamites

Who Are We Fooling?

"As difficult as deciding which of your children is your favorite."

I don't know how many times I've heard that. But whoever believes there's truth in it either has never had children of their own, or has never paid much attention to them.

Of course, saying it and believing it are two different things. I imagine there've been plenty of people who have voiced similar sentiment with the intention of maintaining goodwill and brotherly love within their families, all the while knowing perfectly well there wasn't an ounce of truth in it.

Would I should follow such wise examples.

Switching Chocolates

I wrote a new story and I would love for you to read it. Here's the first two paragraphs. If you want to read the rest just let me know and I'll send it to you by email.

Switching Chocolates

Cayden could still feel the cold seat through his pants. When his dad first bought the Ford Expedition Cayden complained about how the seats were always cold in the winter. Why couldn’t it have regular cloth seats like their Suburban used to have? And in the summer the seats were always hot. Especially after shopping at Walmart, where there was never any shade to park in. But Cayden didn’t complain about the seats anymore. It never did any good- just made Dad ornery. And the drive to Grandma Peterson’s house was too long for Dad to be ornery this soon. So Cayden didn’t say anything about the cold seats. They’d get warm soon enough anyway.

By the time they were on the freeway Cayden had gone over his plan three times. It was a good plan and it would work- even better than his April fools joke when he tricked Mom into thinking that McKenzie had gotten detention. And he couldn’t wait to see what everyone did when he told them what he had done. They’d finally realize how dumb they all were for getting so excited about Grandma’s chocolates.